Enda Kenny says he is considering privatising Dáil Éireann as it now functions very much like a private institution whose primary role is to service the needs of International finance, Industrialists and the Business community at large. It would better serve the country if the Political institutions of Ireland were to be privatised. He went on to say since its inception the Dáil had been of great benefit to those who had participated in it and furthermore it had laid the foundations stones for a modern and vibrant Ireland. He ended his statement by saying “that the time has now come for the Political traditions to move another step forward in the reform of their role which in the long run should enhance Democracy and better the lives of the citizens of the nation”.
An emergency debate on the motion will take place next week - Joan Burton stated it would be absolutely spurious if the Dáil did not hear all sides of the debate. Her party backed the Kenny initiative and saw little conflicted with current labour policy. She saw Zero prospects going forward without acknowledging the needs of International business as set out by their de facto lobbyists. Overall, the interests of labour would best be served outside the confines of the Dáil by making use of unemployed peddlers , junkies , drunks and various other assorted layabouts to form meaningful socialist splinter groups . One must acknowledge that a truthful Socialist party cannot exist without constant splits which indicated to her that as an organisation they had become too comfortable in their ways and had strayed from their defined intellectual path of getting nothing done.. She did indicate that their would be no splitting of folded paper as this was beyond her remit as party boss.
In addition and in the interests of fair play Seanad Eireann would be auctioned off to rehabilitated property speculators whose company owned family mansions had been repossessed by the banks. The Dáil select committee after consultation with the British and Irish inter parliamentary expenses group recommended that all bids must be submitted in large tightly sealed brown envelopes
Denis O'Brien indicated he will definitely bid for Dáil Éireann provided the majority of the sitting deputies agree to do away with elections and the constitution. Fiddle and Diddle the PR company for the O'Brien Corporation issued the following statement just prior to the Kenny announcement.
Senior procurement directors for “The O’Brien Corporation” are consulting with overseas subsidiaries where the experience lies in the giving purchasing of outsized brown envelopes. Irish manufactures lack experience in the production of this type of envelope and the envelopes produced in Ireland can only be used as chicken feed teasers. Over staffing in both the Dáil and the civil service was all too obvious but they would minimise these losses by privatising health, policing, and education sectors. Under consideration would be the fact that Leo Varadkar might run the entire cabinet with no help - Leo had all the right credentials; namely a big mouth. Whatever the case, certain ‘individuals’ employment would definitely be terminated. These failed extensions of the industrialised /political complex would be sold off to the Larry Wolfman organisation to be ground into human burgers. A generous redundancy package would be offered to the few that remained after the initial cull.
In a developing story; insider sources say Goldy Sucks is interested in buying up Seanad Eireann including all of its Senators as a package. GS is confident it can cut a significant rendition deal with the Wolfman organisation to solve the Senator problem. A spokesman added GS planned to turn the building into an international tax settlement centre as well as being a hub for syphoned off invisible digits.This initiative would lead to major job creation prospects for Ireland without employing anybody at the facility.
The Rehabilitated Property Speculators Organisation have given notice to the Government that any move to sell off Seanad Eireann to outside bidders would be fiercely resisted by their organisation. Jerry Beades of the New Land League said his organisation would give their full support to the RPS . The stance of Beades has been endorsed by both Bertie Ahern, Brian Cowan, Lucinda Creighton and groupings of well to do bankrupts.
Latest updates on this story:
Joan Burton: The package proposed by O'Brien was both fair and generous She would without hesitation recommend this package to her remaining party colleagues.
Michael Noonan: Democracy was never really part and parcel of the Irish Psychic and has proved to be a hinderance to the development of the nation. The time has come to consider other options
Denis O’Brien: The way to crush the middle class is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation. O’Brien in a statement issued by F&D Asserts his words were once again misinterpreted by a vindictive and sociopathic Socialist press. Laws need to be implemented to control these agitators and once in power he would take the appropriate steps in the greater overall interest of the nation.
Denis O’Brien : Late yesterday O’Brien lent his support to the campaign for the “Right to Work for Less Law” sponsored by Independent Media.
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